Currently Reading The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God By Brent Curtis, John Eldredge see related

So how about an update?!

This summer I live together with three friends (Sam, John and Sandie) at Pinsekirken in Rønne. Very nice. We have plenty of room. We all work on the ferries. The three of us on the same boat and poor John on another one. We pity him. But John and I have just had a lot of days off... That's the nice thing about working many hours in only a few days -then you have a lot of days of afterwards (and for some reason I got to start with the days off, and then I'll work a lot...)

Today is the worst storm I have ever seen in the summer! It's blowing up to 20 m/sec and the tallest waves are 5 meters tall!.. Luckily we were all off today... That's until they called and woke up John this morning asking if he wanted to go to work... And he said yes before he realized the weather... So right now his sailing out in Povl Anker, the oldest and biggest of the ferries, which is the only one that can handle sailing in this weather... I hope he doesn't get to sick. And I hope the wind takes a chill before I go to work tomorrow morning... Otherwise we are going to be as sick as on Sandie's first shift!.. Man, that was bad (but still less windy than today)!.. Even the old sea folks got sea sick...

Oh well, life on the sea is fun -especially when you get off again!  

So just to conclude on my last entry: I think I have managed to make some good decisions that I have a peace about. My mentor told me that in some aspects of life there are no wrong decisions. They might feel wrong when things get tough, but some things really don't have that big of an impact on the course of our lives. They are just little drops in the big sea... So I might have made a couple of decisions that are just that: Decisions. No big deal. Not life-changing. Just me choosing one path for this season instead of another. It's so reverse to me to not make a big deal out of everything. But maybe that's exactly why, that's what I need to be told...

It's not easy to write entries anymore... So many thoughts that are better of staying inside my head until they have found a conclusion... Right now next year is the big question... And just the whole direction of my future for that matter... I never thought options was such a hard thing for me. I want to think everything through. Know all the pro's and con's... Make up my mind and change it. Even when my heart knows what is right, I want to ask again... To figure out what I'll miss out on, and if I really know that I'm right... My mind is racing. It wont stop. Even when I don't think about it, I still think. Never realized how indecisive I am until now... Making decisions scare me. The old classic question of free will and guidance haunts me more than ever. Will God tell me what to choose? Or will he ask me to do what I find best? I know that I am only indecisive because I can be. Because I want to know and want to control. But by the end of day, I don't know anything for sure. I just have to do what my heart tells me is right. And that is, whether God is telling my heart, or just asking me what I think in my heart. I must trust in his guidance. Even when he doesn't write it on the wall... 

update

been sick for two weeks. my doctor says it's a flue and that i just need to give it a week or two. i don't have a week or two. but the doc says that i have to live up to my name -"a patient". nice one.

leading a missions trip to the faroe islands. leaving tomorrow. john is my co-leader and he's a hero. i wouldn't have known how to be sick and still lead a trip, if he wasn't there to catch the loose ends. well, i guess the rest of the team are all heroines (heh, that looks wrong!). they all work hard and try to send me to bed. good stuff. i'm excited to see what god has in store for us on this trip.

that's all for now. if been awake for 13 hours, so my body says stop. i'm looking forward to get back to healthy and normal.